Saturday, June 20, 2009

Coffee Jitters

So last night was fun I 'spose. Went to Dark Side of the Moon, I've seen it like 5 times already so it was nothing really new. Always a bit therapeutic for me. Afterward we went to get coffee. Good stuff. Half the group split off then, to go get wasted I suspect. The three of us that were left were the odd crowd. You see I have this friend, hilarious as all get out, but so very crude and dark as well. He dresses quite odd and if you've been downtown SL for any long periods of time you quite possibly have seen him. He dresses sorta... pirate-y I guess you could say. But he's the kind that hates hipsters and anything popular and is quite the iconoclast. A fascinating person. Well he has a friend who's pretty cool though (oh and by the way none of the people I was out with are remotely attractive so stop your thinking there). Anyway, we eventually end up getting invited (and going to) this party. They wanted to go to just mess with everyone there. Play some hipster bingo (haha look it up, its kinda funny actually). Just kinda be dicks about it. It was kinda lame actually. So we left after like a half an hour. Then I went home and stayed up another hour online just sorta sitting there, no one to talk to. Except that Torchy fellow. He's pretty cool by the way if you didn't know that. But you probably did. Anyway, more to say about that but I'm not gonna say it cause I just don't have the interest right now.

Now today it's coffee time. I'm actually a little nervous. You see the girl i'm going with is one of the people who knows I'm gay, but I told her online. I haven't seen her in person since. She's cool with it and everything so I'm not worried about that, but just being out in public being... well... out. I dunno. I used to think I had confidence, I could really just come out whenever I wanted and be totally cool about it and not worry or anything. I find it really hard to locate that confidence now. Last night before I went out, my mom was asking about if I had a girl friend or any intersts. She's done that before and it's always awkward because I just don't talk to my folks about things like that. Well it was the perfect opportunity to have "the talk" with her, but I didn't. Just chickenshitted out. This is harder than I thought it would be.

Sorry about the lack of paragraphs. Just not feeling very inspired but thought I should update you in case something happens. Feeling a bit funky right now to be honest. Let's hope it passes quickly.


Oh and go make Dan feel better because when he's hurting, chances are I am too.


  1. Just go at your own pace my friend, I mean about telling people. I'm still glad you had a good time though, haha.


  2. Matt

    love that pink floyd music myself, glad you enjoed the time out

    take care and be safe


  3. yay - go torchy - i got a shout out. no wait, 'just don't have the interest'? jeez. lmao matt :)

    it only seemed like it was the right time to talk to your mum from a logical point of view, ie. because she gave you a convo opener. it's clearly not the right time in your heart yet Matt. it'll come. the more people you talk to, the easier it will get.