Wednesday, November 4, 2009

What do you want from me?

Ok, so I haven't posted in like 2 weeks.

And ok, I haven't been really reading too many blogs for longer than that...

But I've been busy ok?

Here's a laundry list of my activities since I last posted:

School: including reading, writing, and classes

Work: which has its ups and downs, but mostly downs.

Having sex: well... ok only once really... and I'm not really interested in the guy in a romantic sense...

Ok I guess I have to talk about that one in a bit more detail.

So like the week after I posted last was Fall Break, and some friends from the center and I went up to some local hot springs about an hour an a half away to camp out and then head home the next day. Well, one thing led to another and I ended up having sex with one of the guys that night. I'm not going to go into details, but suffice to say it was fun (ok fine pervs, I bottomed). The thing is so, I feel a bit guilty about the whole affair. I don't feel an attraction to the guy beyond the physical, and even that's not that great. Basically what happened was this: He was horny, I was wiling, there we go. I've basically gone on as if nothing happened. It hasn't been awkward, which is nice, but I'm just hoping he wasn't expecting anything more than what it was.

So yeah.

What else have I been up to?

Well... some more stuff I'm not exactly proud of, well, damnit, I had fun so it was worth it. I suppose I should let you in on this. I've been partying it up a bit lately, complete with drinking a bit. I have discovered that gin is my drink of choice though. The weekend before Halloween I went to a party and got quite smashed, I remember everything that happened, and I didn't get a hangover, but I'm not going to drink that much in the future. On the one hand I wonder if I'm compromising my values by drinking before I'm technically (read: legally) able to drink, but other the other hand I'm having fun and actually enjoying being young and stupid. I am careful though, and quite responsible, so don't worry too much.

Oh so I guess I should update you all on the Nick situation. We went on a second date, saw Zombieland and had sushi afterward. It was fun. Since then we haven't gone out and again, and things are pretty stagnant. At this point I'm too busy to care. My philosophy from here on out with him is this: If he wants me he can come get me, otherwise I'm moving on. I'm ok with this outcome, apparently he's a bit of a "butterfly" as a friend of mine put it, his interests floating from guy to guy constantly. So it goes.

On the other hand, I've been doing something new on Monday nights. My university has a group called "QSU" (Queer Student Union) that has meetings on Monday nights, and then coffee after that. I've been going for a few weeks now. I know many of those that go from the center so it's less awkward that way, in fact it's really fun and I look forward to it every week now. Through coffee I've solidified some friendships and made some new ones. It's feels great to be in a group of queers and just have a good time. Also, there's a guy there, Wyatt. He started going to QSU about the same time I did, and he's really cute and actually my age. I need to get to know him better I think. ;)

Whew... what else...

Went to the Rocky Horror Picture Show on Halloween at midnight. Fun stuff. If you get the chance go. I was anally raped by hundreds of people along with about 40 other people. We're no longer virgins. :D

Yeah other than that, lotta stuff in between all this but I can't remember it all right now. Suffice to say, I'm alive, been having a good time with life, and I'm going to try to be better about updating but no guarantees.

Well, I'm out of words.

No I'm not.

Happy birthday Landyn!!!

I feel really bad for missing the boat on his special secret blog, but I'm going to say something here just because I can, even if I already told him.

Landyn, you are awesome. You are made of awesome, which is a rare substance indeed. It took me a while to finally meet you, but when I did, it was worth it. I know I have a tendency to ramble, but I know you don't mind. Haha, what to say that hasn't been said already? Lemon Currey? No, those aren't the right words... Particulate matter? Damn, not right either... Well... You are beyond words, so I'll stop trying. I hope you have a wonderful birthday, you've made it this far, no small feat. You will make it much further. I only can hope that one of your future years brings your path across mine and that we can share a bite to eat or something. Me and everyone else I know. Ah well. Enjoy this day, you've earned it.

Ok that's really all. I've got work to do. So I'll see you when I see you.

The one who almost got away,



  1. Wow you sound like you have been busy
    Don't forget your studies and take care

  2. Gin? That stuff tastes absolutely vile.

    I hope you were a good boy and made your gentleman caller wear a little raincoat. It sounds like you've learned that sex with no feeling behind it (other than physical) leaves you feeling guilty. There's nothing wrong with that; sex is best when you're with someone you love.

  3. I know, I've been horrendously busy too D:

  4. Sounds like you're keeping up with things better than I am. It took a week of me being cut off from the internet to get me caught up to where I need to be.

    Hang in there!

  5. Matt

    Man sounds like you are having the life you wanted so good for you

    take care and be safe