Friday, September 25, 2009

It's back on!

Date's back on for monday! I'm getting excited again!

Battery about to die.


Updates later!



Matt

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Bummer

Well... Nick just called.

Looks like we're not going tonight after all. He has too much homework. I'm going to go still. I'm way bummed out though...

Although he was interested in going another time, so I'm going to have to figure out when to get my comp tickets.


I am disappoint.



Matt

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Well... I got me a date!

So this is a bit late, but I've been busy ok!?

But yeah.

I asked him on Monday, and he said yes! And today I asked if he was still interested and he said yes quite enthused and excited like. :D


So yeah, my first date in over a year, and my first date with a guy. Although technically I haven't said "date" yet... :/ Hopefully I'm not making more of this than I should be...


But that aside I'm quite excited. The only thing I'm worried about is any awkward pauses in conversation. I get chocked up and nervous around him sometimes. Hopefully I'll keep my cool and not sweat too much.

Anyway, that's my big news. I'll let you know how things go tomorrow or thursday.



Excited and nervous,


Matt

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Nervous still...

Hey sorry for the little bitch fit in the last post. I understand you all read out there, but just don't usually have anything to say. Hell I'm really bad with comments myself.

So that's that. End of subject.


So yeah, I'm getting nervous about asking Nick out. I have never asked a guy out before. I've only ever asked one girl out, and not my ex either, she asked me out originally. I asked that girl out over a year ago. I don't know what to expect and as always I fear rejection. I hope to see him tomorrow though. Also should I plan an after activity such as ice cream or something like that to be able to sit and talk? Or should I just see what happens and not push it...

Gah. This is too much, and I'm over thinking it, and there are other thoughts in my head that are even sillier and so I'd rather not entertain them. I just don't know what to expect.


Any thoughts? Anything to say? Wanna tell me I'm a jerk?


Leave a comment!



Matt

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Hrump.

So I'd like to first off say thank you a whole tons to Jason for actually being the single person to comment on my last post.

I'm not gonna lie, a part of my soul dies when I don't get many (if any) comments, and it makes it hard to make another post.

But enough whining about that. I wanna say that Jason is a really cool guy whom I enjoy reading his very well written blog (like seriously, you've got a talent for blogging and writing in general (non-fiction at least, I haven't seen your fiction (if it exists)). Plus I enjoy talking to you on the msn as well. :D

Anyway.

I have not had the chance to ask Nick out yet. I didn't see him yesterday at the center. Mega bummer. But I still had fun there. I quite like being up there (it's on the fourth floor of the Union Building and has a killer view of the city). I also went to a BBQ for the volunteers tonight, but he wasn't there :/

Hopefully he'll be there on Monday. I think I'm starting to really like him...

Anyway, have a nice evening everyone.


Matt

Thursday, September 17, 2009

An Exercise in Futility

It is 5:40 AM as I write this. I was up until 3:00 AM previously. I have allowed myself 2 hours of sleep.

Fuckin' Papers.

Three and a half pages written, I need at least five or so. I'm nearing the end of my constructive rope. I am easily distracted as you can plainly see by this post. But this is a welcome and necessary break.

Another exercise in futility is going after logic boy. Facebook stalking had led me to believe that he is straight, and also a bit of a party-er, which is fine I suppose, but doesn't really mesh well with me, who isn't. It's hard to want to get over him when he's always soo freakin' gorgeous. *freak-out noises* Why does he have to be so gorgeous?

However, in light of trying to forget about logic boy, I think I'm going to actively pursue Nick, whom I know is gay, and think may be interested in me. Better choice? I think so. At the theater at which I work, the wednesday before opening weekend is "preview night" which is essentially a final dress rehearsal for an invited audience. As a supervisor and close personal friend of the house manager, I am one of those invited. I can also bring someone if I wish. Cheap date idea? Lemme know your thoughts.

Anyway, I should get back to the paper. Today is gonna be rough...



Matt

Monday, September 14, 2009

Jazzerific!

So I went to a concert tonight. Benny Green. Absolutely fandamntastic. Jesus can that man play the piano.

Went by myself as per usual. I didn't mind so much, but I couldn't help but think how it would have been better with a certain guy.

And no it's not the one your thinking of. But more on that later.

I was thinking about this guy Nick whom I've met through the center (LGBT Resource Center, hitherto now known as "the center"). He's older than me, like over 21 at the very least, and is graduating after one more semester. But he's pretty cute, gay, and single as I've found out today. I think I wrote about him before, but yeah. I kinda get the feeling he likes me too, but then again I'm new to all this (interacting with other guys that are gay). We'll see on that front.

As for Dusty (logic boy). He's still really really cute, but I keep getting the "he's gotta be straight" blues. I did talk to him briefly today, basically I asked if he had any problems with the homework, he didn't. I didn't either. End conversation. I barely got that in too as he was sitting a row behind me. Today was just not my day for seating. I'm starting to give up on him too, for the before mentioned reasons.

Oh and it rained today. :D I love the rain.


Well, that is all folks.



Matt

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Oh Hi There

So Yeah, it's been what? A week?

School's been kicking my ass, so has work, and I haven't really wanted to blog at school either. But here's what's been going on.

A quick comment about yesterday. I was going to post then, but I really didn't want to get into all the patriotic bullshit that goes along with it. I love this country sure, but I don't love what that event did to us. It made us fearful to point where we were willing to give up our rights to freedom for perceived safety. Even more disturbing to me is that it allowed us as a people to suspend our beliefs in justice. This is not uncommon to American History though. In World War II we had home grown concentration camps for the Japanese, because we were scared. We cannot let tragedy like 9-11 make us stop believing in what it means to be a freedom and justice loving society known as America.

That's all I have to say about that.


What else...

So I basically have no "freetime" during the week now. I say "freetime" because what I gave up was my fri, wed, and mon mornings to volunteer at the LGBT Resource Center we have on campus, which honestly hasn't been much work. It's actually been really cool to work there. I've met lots of people, and it's just a fun place to be. And yes there is one cute boy there, but he's older (like over 21), so not really a "boy" per say, but a cute guy. Oh and he's very gay haha.

Speaking of things gay, I have been addicted to a new (to me) musical. The Last Five Years tells the story of a husband and wife from the beginning of their relationship to the end, but here's the twist: the woman starts at the end of the relationship and moves to the beginning whereas the guy starts and the beginning at goes to the end. The juxtaposition of the two plot lines is really telling and the music is fabulous. Very simple orchestration and the singing isn't polished but it works. The score is eclectic in style and poignant in content (lyrically).

Oh yeah, I got a name too. :D

Logic Boy will now be known as... (fan fare and drumroll please).... Dusty!


or Dustin... or something like that... I didn't hear too well. The professor was passing back paper and he said his name. I should have heard better because he was right next to me.

Strike that ^^^^ His name is Dusty, I found him on the facebook :D

Oh yeah that's right, I finally got the seating issue worked out, at least for yesterday. It was really just luck though, and a bit of courage. As I was walking to class he comes out of the library and starts walking in front of me, and so I follow him to class. He sits down, there's a seat next to him. I almost didn't sit there, but I did!

So now I'm sitting next to him, what next? I asked him about the homework. We agreed it was pretty easy but shared reservations about the future as it may get more difficult. Then he started reading so I didn't want to interrupt, and class started. So during class we got to briefly discuss somethings with our neighbors and who's my neighbor? Hehe. I was gonna try to talk to him after class and see maybe, just maybe, if he wanted to get lunch or something, but he left pretty fast (he usually does) and I wasn't quite brave enough to approach him outside of class. But all in due time.

But he's really really cute. AH! He's amazing! :D I even got him to laugh a little and smile, which he doesn't do in class that I've seen.


Hopefully Monday will allow me to keep up, I'm hoping the initial conversation was enough to bridge some awkwardness. I'm wondering how to play seating though, do I wait a bit for him to show up first and then go sit next to him, or let him come to me? I dunno...

Wow this post is packed. Oh well. I've got a dinner party to clean up for. See my folks are out of town this week, and so what does a gay teenager do? Throw a rager? Naw. Host a dinner party instead. It's a Day by the Bay, fish and chips, clam chowder, cheddar biscuits, and grilled corn on the cob I think. It should be good. Gotta go shopping to get groceries though. Hopefully it'll be successful. I need to think of some music and something to wear...

Well until next time (which hopefully won't be too much longer)



Matt




I don't know if I've put this picture up before, but I have to say I love it so here it is again. Haha

Monday, September 7, 2009

Aaah




Soooo much homework this weekend.

I'll probably post most tomorrow or wednesday.

Just lettin ya'lls know what's up.


Matt

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Tired

Oy, I'm tired tonight. But I shall attempt to make a post, no matter how disorganized. Here I go.

Having shaved legs is fun. I like touching them. :)

I'm not really being fair to fugly boy, he's just annoying me. I don't hold grudges for long. But I will be pissed off if he shafts me again tomorrow.

Tomorrow I may be going to a training thingy for the LGBT Resource Center on campus for volunteers. The only problem is it's from 11-12 pm and I have logic at 11:50 am. I think I'll be able to swing it. I figure volunteering for them will be a good way to meet people though. We'll see if I chicken out or not. :/

Also, yesterday they had what is known as "Plazafest." Basically all the clubs and organizations and departments and such set up booths and give away free stuff. Well I stopped by the LGBT booth and picked me up one of those lance armstrong-y type bracelets.

Picture :



It's lavender. What do you think? Too gay?

The other one is made with these really cool beads that fluoresce under UV Light (including the primary source, Sunlight). So they are all sorts of light blue, yellow, purple, and pink. Without light though, they are white, like in the picture. I'll try to get a picture of them when they are all colourful.

Again, too gay? Haha not that it matters, that's actually kinda why I'm wearing them.


Umm... anything else...


Oh yeah, Dan, where have you been on msn? I miss talking to you...

Oh yeah, last thursday marked our 4 years of knowing each other. Go us...

I just realized, Dan probably wouldn't make it this far in one of my posts...

Oh well :/



Good night everybody.



Matt

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

How do we (as homo's) do gender? UPDATE

So we were talking in my gender and sexuality class yesterday about how people "do gender." Like if you wanted to act as a girl, you would have to do much more than simply dress as one. You have to be a girl "120%" of the time, in actions and body language and such.

So my question comes down to this. Since a lot of gay stereotypes revolve around being "femmy" is this really a useful thing for finding other gay men? Or is it intended to attract straight guys who react to such cues?

Just a curious question.

It sounded better when I was thinking about it yesterday.


In other news, I shaved my legs.

Soooo smooooth.


Also, today is the day that I'm determined to talk to logic boy, so expect a name by this afternoon.

UPDATE: I=Failure. fugly boy (the guy who was sitting next to me last time) took up the two seats next to him. He had his pack in front of the seat next to him and his glasses on the desk. It pissed me off. So... no name. yet...


I think that's all.



Matt




P.S. another question (from a different class). From a standpoint, point of view, where do we (again as homo's) fit into society and how does that change our perceptions of it?


P.P.S Sorry for the deeper questions, but get used to them as I am once again in the world of Acadamia.

P.P.P.S. Is anyone else getting a notice that there is an unresponsive script on my page? I think it's one of my counters. I'm considering getting rid of it because of this. Let me know.