Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Big Recap

Right this minute I'm in such a good mood! I think it's the endorphins, I got back from a hike a little while ago, and now I'm listening to "Wedding Bell Blues" by the Fifth Dimension (on vinyl of course).

Wow.

Pride.


What a weekend.

What an experience.

I'm way bummed out that it's over.

Friday, partied it up. Not pride related, a friend from work was leaving town for the summer for a job so she was throwing a party. I only knew her at the party. Despite this, it was one of the most fun times I've ever had at a party before. I made two new best friends, Haley and Jamie. We bonded and had soo much fun. I helped one of them hook up with a really cute guy. Damn, I'm too nice...

The next day I woke up, took my parking ticket with a straight face and went home to shower and get ready to go out and decorate a float for Pride. Had fun, went to the festival after that. Bought me a new bracelet and got a few other ones for free. Got a henna tattoo as well. It's a "Q". Did some more stuff, it was a good time in general though.

The next day I got up and went downtown to be in the parade. Saw Isaac, there was a bit of that drama this weekend, kinda put a damper on a lot of Sunday. I ended up tabling most of the day for the Resource Center, which I didn't mind. It was waaay too hot this weekend anyway and I didn't feel like moving much. After the festival went to some friends' apartment for a get together before they all went off to the clubs. Had a bit to drink, by the time everyone left, I didn't feel safe to drive, so I kicked it there alone for a while. It's a good thing I love their apartment and it was a nice night for the four block walk I had to get to my car. Earlier that evening there was a rainbow in the sky, followed by a bit of thunder and lighting, really cool stuff to end Pride weekend.

Yesterday it was back to work (some interesting things happening there, but that's a post for another time). That evening though, I went to dinner for my friend Sam's birthday, it was also for Isaac. As it happened I sat next to Isaac. It was a bit uncomfortable for me, but I got through it pretty well... if pretending to be a lot more tired than I really was to mask feeling uncomfortable is getting through it pretty well... Well after dinner I went for coffee with my friend Cameron whom I had not seen in a long time. We ended up being there from like 9:30 to midnight. Oy vey. It was a really good talk though. Basically it was me telling him all about Isaac and everything.

We came to some interesting conclusions.

I'm very emotionally detached. This affect my friendships as they are all quite shallow when you really look at them. I don't really have any really really close friends. This is because I don't make emotional connections with friends.

Losing Isaac has been very difficult because he is one of the few people I've made an emotional connection with in a very long time. When that connection was severed, I was/am heartbroken.

I have a habit of analyzing my emotions as a way of staving off pain. This keeps me from sharing them with others.

There's more but I'm not going into it right now. This post is too monstrous to begin with.

Suffice to say, coffee last night was certainly an interesting experience.


Well, goodnight folks.


Matt

2 comments:

  1. im glad you're finally in a good mood lol

    man i do exactly the same with my emotions, its freaky to know that someone out there (you) handles their emotions and relationships with people in the same way i do. probably the only difference between you and i is that i only have one really really close friend, so everyone else is basically there to keep me company when im not with that one close friend :/

    i think i need psychological help LOL

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  2. I've got exactly the opposite problem... I like people way to much, and bond with them more quickly than I should... I'm learning tho, I haven't been really 'burnt' in quite a while, so, I guess, I'm more skeptical than I used to be...
    I'm glad the pride thing was fun... someday, I'll have to find one to attend... I'm also glad that you're doing well, cop[ing with seeing Isaac... I never did that, very well!! lol luv, tman<3

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