Wednesday, July 28, 2010


Well well well,

It's been a while since I posted any pictures up here.

Just got my film developed and $70 later, here are my favorite/best shots!


Saturday, July 24, 2010

Random Thoughts


I saw that on a bumper sticker and instantly fell in love. If it offends you, well... good.

I had another post written out, but I've decided to spare myself from more drama.

tman - you figured out the reference with the worm. Good for you! However, please trust me in knowing what is best for my life. I have never been one to self-medicate with alcohol, however I do enjoy drinking. Last night, I was having myself a nightcap. One drink. When I party, I'm the most responsible drunk there. I know my limit and I follow my own rules. Sometimes you just have to trust people. You don't know me so you really can't say for sure if my drinking is good or bad. (rant over)

I try to interact with my blog more often, but honestly, I'm way too busy to most of the time. I often don't feel like coming home after an 11 hour day and posting comments on comments. Hell if I have the motivation to do a post, that's pretty damn good. I do read though and think about what is said.

Oh blogging. What an odd thing you are.

What else...

Yeah, drama, no good. Cut it out will ya all! When positivity turns to negativity I tune out or get angry.

I can't wait to be able to have a camera again. Depending on how much my car is going to cost me, I think I'll just have two more paychecks to go before I can get me a brand new shiny Nikon d90 with an 18-55 mm VR and a 70-300 mm VR Nikkor Lenses. I would ideally love to get an ultra-wide angle Tonika 11-16 mm lens, but that'll be a purchase for another day I think... Unless I just get a camera body with a couple lenses. My dream team of lenses would include a portrait lens, an ultra-wide angle, a tele, and an all purpose.

So my dream team of lenses would be:

  • Tonika 11-16 mm - Ultra-wide - ~$600
  • Nikon 70-300 mm VR - Tele - ~$550 *
  • Nikon 18-200 mm VR - All purpose - ~$800 *
  • Some portrait lens - Any thoughts?
*The ranges on these overlap so I could easily just get one of them, probably the 18-200 mm as that seems to be a highly recommended lens, but if I get the camera in a kit, it'll come with an 18-55 mm which would cover the lower end of the range (which realistically would be most of what I need).

Oy I've done sooo much research on cameras and lenses that I just need to get out there with a camera and shoot! Wrargh!!

Ok I think that's it for random thoughts for the day.


Friday, July 23, 2010

Hello Darkness My Old Friend

Well, I've traded in those Heartsick Blues for a more familiar feeling.

No longer in love, I'm really just lonely.

Story of my life.

Well, I guess I'll eat the worm and go to bed.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Umm yeah

So life has been actually pretty good since last weekend. I've been feeling normal for the first time in a long time. So yay!!

Last weekend was a blast, suffice to say, awesome.

This weekend, kinda shitty so far, but that's because I'm sitting at home a lotta bored and a little lonely. Plus it's only thursday so who can complain?

Other than that...

Not much to report on.

These girls are awesome! I am loving this new collaboration!

Anyway, g'night all.


Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Crappy Day

Oh man, what an absolutely shitty day.

Oh I guess I should finish up the Isaac saga. So after that letter I sent, he replied with a really nice letter in return, and then I sent another, and then we were good (or I was good with him) again. We were talking Sunday and then he had to go to bed and said he would text me the next day. Never did. Typical. I wasn't too upset though. I still get tugs at the heartstrings whenever I'm reminded of him, but they are getting less frequent and not so bad so yeah...

So yeah my today, started off alright, but at work my co-worker needs a serious attitude adjustment.

He just seemed pissed off at me all day and I couldn't figure out why. It was slightly consfusing and worrisome and obnoxious as well.

The other thing, I'm starting to feel like a third wheel at work. In my work group, there's my boss Rob, then there's Devin who I've known from scouts for years who actually got me the job originally, and then there's Gale who was hired as a full time janitor after I left the first time. Well, Gale and Devin have really hit it off, and they are really buddy buddy, and sometimes I just feel left out there. Not only that, but I'm not really interested in the things that the rest are. I'm very liberal, my boss, not so much so. Devin and Rob are really into guns. I'm not. Devin and Gale are into cars and stuff, I'm not. Basically, they are all very masculine men in one way or another, and I'm not. I dunno, I wish my work were a bit more independent at times so I could just go do my own thing in solitude.

So the other reason why my day sucked, calling at the theater sucked tonight.

Oh, have I told y'all I got a second job? Well if I didn't, here it is again. I'm working the phone campaign at the theater that I've worked at for the last 4 years or so. Basically selling season tickets to former patrons. It's an alright job and I enjoy it well enough. Tonight was hell though. First of all no one was home, and those that were home were just so negative. I didn't sell anything tonight and barely make any headway with anyone at all. It was just getting me down.

Oh well. I'm home now. I ate some rice and now I'm finishing off a package of dry oatmeal (apple cinnamon yum).

This weekend should be kickass though, stuff to do everyday.

Well, g'night,


p.s. Jim Croce is supplying the music for tonight. It hits the spot.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

He's gone

Or he will be tomorrow at 7:00 am.

I never did get to see him before he left.

I'm hurt and sad.

I probably shouldn't have written a letter to him in this state of mind, but I have anyway.

"Well I guess if we're being childish and avoiding face to face communication, I'll send this from facebook.

Truthfully, I'm actually quite hurt because of how you've left without even making a real effort to even say goodbye. I guess it doesn't really matter now, but I loved you, as much as I know I shouldn't. You broke my heart, and continue to do so, oblivious as you may be. I don't know that I should miss you, but I certainly know I will. I guess I wanted to tell you all this before, but I've never really had an opportunity, and really, I don't know what good it could have or will do saying these things now. I've probably been looking for some fictional validation of my feelings that I know I would never receive.

But whatever, I guess I'll get over it.

Have fun with whatever you do. I will not be making anymore efforts to sustain any contact, if you wish to do so, that's up to you."

I don't know what I hope to accomplish with this, but it's done and sent.

Maybe things will start to look up, maybe...


Saturday, July 3, 2010

2 Years

Well... I've been better and I've been worse since my last post. Absolutely insane weekend last weekend, ended up giving me Strep Throat. I'm on antibiotics now so I'll be getting better.

Today is the 3rd of July. Tomorrow is Independence Day here in America.

I will be celebrating (ha) another truly independent, Independence Day.

For those of you who don't know, about 4 hours from now, and 2 years ago, in the early morning of July 4, 2008, my first, and so far last, relationship ended.

I was dumped, "we should just be friends."

We are now, but it took over a year.

I have not had a relationship since and I've barely dated.

Isaac was the closest I've been. I wish someone would be dumping me tonight, at least it means I would have had someone to be dumped by.

Instead here I am, Independent.

I am a rock.

I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain. And an island never cries.

Starting Monday I will be working my ass off for the rest of the summer.

Let freedom ring,